You’re a handsome young woman and obviously you’ve accomplished a lot in your short life. Maybe not, maybe you never wanted to get it in the first place, maybe you never wanted to move to the suburbs, maybe you secretly blame me for everything moving too fast and now you’re stuck here out in Calabasas or something and now you’re like 33 and if you leave me you’ll never have biological children, but if you stay with me you don’t know how you can stand even one more fucking second in this house in the middle of nowhere and separating the bank accounts is going to be such a god damned pain in the ass, and the goat isn’t cute anymore, it was a stupid idea, and it has an expected life span of like 35 more years but any place you give it away to might use it for meat and that would pretty much be unconscionable. That’s what it’s going to be like with you and me in like four years. And like, the big evil corporate guy is like “somebody clean this up for Christ’s sake.” Both you and that scene are fucking awesome.22) Some day, man… The breakdown in wizard specialness goes: all other wizards Come with me, I will say, and outside is parked a pegasus. the one for you has been customized with an awesome panel airbrushed on the side; I would say a chick with big tits in a chainmail bikini waving a spear on top of a polar bear but that’s probably not the kind of shit you would like.But there’s also something accessible and human that comes through. you and me get some acreage and just a fuckton of goats. This is why I need to get to know you better, you know.You have control over the impression you want to deliver, from that perfect photo to the charming and witty dating profile that captures and holds their attention.Of course, there’s nothing quite so frustrating when you put all of that effort into your profile and start sending out all of those messages… In fact, that’s the reason why so many men quit online dating entirely; who wants to expend all of that emotional energy only to get kicked in the metaphorical nuts by that empty inbox every time you log in? Well, to mangle an old saying: once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times means you’re doing something wrong.They may have set up the profile on a lark and forgot about it after moving on when some other social network caught their attention.They may have started dating somebody they met on that very site and just never got around to closing their account or editing their profile to indicate that they’re no longer on the market.
At least that’s the wisdom gleaned from a recent study on the most successful opening lines on dating apps.Put your details in the box to the right to get access to 10 content-packed training videos that will show you how to meet, attract, and seduce women.The videos are free and yours as a gift for visiting this site. Attention Master Pick Up Artist University Members: If you've got any questions for our coaches, need help accessing your account, or would like to change subscription levels, please do contact us at 1(800)-983-4058 or email us at [email protected] at your Third Street Starbucks, though, as I am banned from that one for 30 days. Or maybe we do, and then we get married and move slightly out of town to some place where people of modest means can get a pretty big yard, and we get a goat, but the fucking thing is too loud and keeps chewing through the fence- they are surprisingly clever animals. But point being the goat keeps getting out and getting into the neighbor’s yard and eating his heirloom tomatoes or whateverthefuck- maybe we laugh at this.Your absurd statutes regarding proper use of rest rooms are incomprehensible to me.16) Not gonna lie, I found you a little intimidating. Maybe this discord with our neighbors only brings us closer together, like, us against the world. I don’t have a fuckin crystal ball.20) You remind me of that scene in Robocop where they’re showing the prototype robot to the corporate board and it goes nuts and cuts the guy from West Wing in half with a machine gun. You are not just a normal bullshit wizard, either; you are the one extremely special wizard with a crooked eyebrow or something who is prophesied to save the world of wizarding from another, also much-ballyhooed, slightly less special but evil wizard.